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HOW FAR IS TOO FAR?
I think we all know that a LOT happens between meeting someone and having sex with them but HOW FAR IS TOO FAR?! Take a look at the list below and set some boundaries for yourself.
9 Steps of Intimacy:
- 1. Hugging
- 2. Holding Hands
- 3. Closed Mouth Kissing
- 4. Open Mouth Kissing (French kissing or kissing with tongue)
- 5. Caressing/ Touching (Groping over clothes)
- 6. Anytime Clothes Come Off
- 7. Genital Touching (Touching private parts)
- 8. Oral Sex (Anytime someone’s mouth touches another person’s private parts)
- 9. Sexual Intercourse
We are all at different ages and places in our relationships which play a role in which boundary is good for us but there are some basic things that will help you find the one that is right for you.
- GET SOME ADVICE!
- Find an adult that you can talk to about these boundaries. Your parents are the BEST people to go to because they care about you and believe it or not they were a teenager once too. But if your parents are unable to talk to you, then find an adult that you can trust who can give you advice and hold you accountable to the boundary that you do set.
- DON’T PUSH THE LIMITS!
- One of the best rules in setting boundaries is when you start asking yourself “Is this too far”…it probably is! I mean if you were standing on a cliff would you keep inching out on the ledge…NO! It is the same with these steps…the farther you go down the list, the faster you reach them.
- BE SAFE FROM STDS!
- We know that you are at HIGH risk for STD's from step #7 to #9 because you can just as easily get some STD's by genital touching as you can with sexual intercourse.
- KEEP YOUR CLOTHES ON!
- It's pretty simple...If you follow this one rule then you don’t have to worry about pregnancy or STD's THAT’S A PRETTY SAFE RULE!
- ROOM TO GROW!
- You also have to realize that if you have decided not to go past step #5 until you get married…should you really be at step #4 when you are in jr. high? Do you think that #4 is going to still be enough for you when you are 21 and not married yet?! I doubt it! So set your boundaries so that you can move down the list as you get older and still not put yourself at risk.
- GET OFF THE BED!
- If you are serious about setting boundaries, don't hang out in your boyfriend or girlfriend's bedroom!
- DON'T BE ALONE!
- We all know what a late night call that says "My parents aren't home. Why don't you come over and just hang out or watch a movie or just talk" really means... Just because you accept an offer like this does not guarantee you will go past your boundary but you are MUCH more likely to do something you never wanted to do and even get a consequence you never wanted to happen. THINK ABOUT IT.
- IT'S NEVER TOO LATE!
- Some of you may be thinking…that’s great but I have already gone too far. Well, then all you have to do is RESET your boundary! It isn’t easy to stop doing something but is it possible? Of course!
- Even if you have already lost your virginity, you can still have what’s called RENEWED VIRGINITY. All you have to do is to decide that from this day forward you are going to set your boundary and wait to have sex again until you get married.
- We can’t change our past but... we can CHANGE OUR FUTURE!