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         TO DATE

             OR

      NOT TO DATE...

 

Be Yourself! 

• If we say or act like someone we are NOT, then we are only lying to others and ourselves.  Who we are on the INSIDE is special and unique, and that’s what we want people to see.  Don’t try to be someone else or let someone change you because…the best us is the real us.

Don’t RUSH! 

• You know you don't HAVE to have a boyfriend or girlfriend right now! If we hurry into dating it can really tangle us up.  We can make bad decisions that will cause heartbreak or even physical consequences.  Ask yourself these questions:
  
  • When should we start dating? 
    • Starting to date at age 16 is a rule that just makes sense. 
      • You can actually DRIVE!
      • The longer you wait, the less temptation you have and the less risk you run of making some bad mistakes.
      • The longer you wait, the less bad relationships and the less breakups you have to deal with.
    • Respect the dating age your parents set for you.
  • Why should someone date?
  • What is the difference between a friend relationship and a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship

Be Encouraging

• We all have seen the movie "Mean Girls" so don't fall into that stereotype!  Just know that just a few words from you can affect another person for a lifetime.  One of the greatest gifts we can give someone in a dating relationship is confidence in him or herself. 

Set Boundaries!

• Once you do decide to get into a relationship you have to figure out how far you are going to go physically. Is holding hands ok? Is kissing ok? Is making out ok? When is sex ok?  Check out the 9 Steps of Intimacy and let an adult you trust help you set some of these boundaries now!

Boundaries = FREEDOM!

• Do you love sports?  Consider how any sports game would go if there were no rules...  What if there were no boundary lines or no specific way to get a goal or no fouls?  The game would be no fun because it would be CHOAS!  Which means boundaries in a sport equals a GREAT game!
• This same thought applies to relationships.  Boundaries in a relationship doesn't equal restriction...it equals FREEDOM to have a wonderful relationship without the stress of consequences.         So choose FREEDOM!

Count the Costs!

• If being in a relationship now costs you more than you are getting...why get in them?
• Think about it…if you start dating at 12 and you have two bad relationships each year, that is FOURTEEN breakups before you are 18!  Now that’s a LOT of drama to bring into your life!
• So wouldn’t it be better to have fun with your friends now and wait on those great relationships to come along when you get older?!